A Little hope

Can I talk about you?

Can I give myself the permission to name you?

Can I allow myself to dream?

Cause I'm scared as fuck.

But I'm thinking a lot about you,

And all our interactions seem to be playing in my head like a record,

rolling in my memories.

Is there a possibility that this goes the right way?

Or was it doomed since the beginning?

I'm still swimming in doubts, but I don't wanna drown.
If it's not by your hands on my neck, I don't wanna choke.

But you seem so amazed by me, is it true?
Does my little me bewitch someone like you?

If someone had told me that we would achieve this kind of closeness, I wouldn't have believed it.

Be true, that's all that I'm asking, because I'm being really honest, and I don't want to hide or fake anything.

I don't wanna be hurt, but I don't wanna stay with that annoying 'if' between my lips.

Make me feel, because I thought that I didn't have feelings for anyone anymore.

It turns out that I was so mistaken.

God, give me this, only this, this little moment, this sporadic nothing, that could become more.

U are not the driver anymore

It embarrasses me now,
it actually makes me cringe if I think about it.

The fact that I was so devoted to you,
that you could have molded me into anything you desired,
asked anything of me,
had me on my knees for you,
grabbed my hair,
choked me,
broke my arm,
or pulled my legs or all of my strings.

There was a moment that I didn't have a will of my own,
but you were my will.
Yes, it is embarrassing,
was it love?
Was my perception of my love for you so mistaken?

Or was it more like a dog,
like a slave to his master,
I don't know.

But what I do know,
is that I will never want to feel like that again,
so powerless in my own actions,
so little,
so nothing.