During this time of year, it is usual for me to break down due to the lack of warmth. I often get sick with the absence of dreams, and despair knocks at my door without remorse. However, this time I found myself sitting on your lap, freely running my hands through your neck and hair, while yours wandered over my back and waist.
I smiled against your lips, not feeling ready to truly feel, but sometimes, turning off my consciousness makes me feel better. You could pull my strings, and I could drink a thousand promises, believing in romances or in fake ones.
But the kisses only served to silence my pain, to numb my reality. I thought I had forgotten how to kiss, but it still feels as natural as swimming.
Weakly, I pulled away from you, looking into your bright eyes, shining with lust, desiring more, curious about what comes next.
I pressed my forehead against yours and took a deep breath; your scent enveloped me, and at that moment, I also wanted more of you. However, my self-control and fear are stronger than my audacity.
So become the person you want to be; forget my age, and I'll forget your past. Forget my clumsiness, and I'll forget who you really are.
It's such a short life, are you really going to let this opportunity to slip away? If it doesn't work now, it will never do.
Moreover, it won't be the first or the last time that I fall flat on my face, dreaming of love.
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