Silent tides

I’ve dreamt about it countless times this week,
then panic mode sets in.
Sometimes it feels more like hope,
but deep down, I’m truly scared, and I feel so alone.
If the waters move against me,
can I swim along with them?

I know, I know
it’s my fault,
but maybe it's not.
Or maybe,
I can fake madness
until everything runs its course.
Names and names,
they circle in my ear,
flowers and a soft voice,
cigars and a scream lost in the morning.

Maybe I can save the moon,
maybe, in a bitter sigh,
I can dream again.

15/04 = Esto lo escribí cuando estuve con un atraso y llegué llorando a la casa de la Cote a hacerme un test, salió negativo pero el pánico que tuve fue inmenso. La Cote se enojó, preguntándome porque la persona que debería estar ahí conmigo no lo estaba, y yo solo lloraba...