Magic tea

 S went to the restroom, leaving me alone with M.
“What else?” he asked.

I told him about the time I thought he would get angry and yell at me, but he didn’t. He stayed calm, fixing the situation and telling me not to worry. I confessed how scared I’d been, bracing myself for the outburst I was certain would come... like my dad or more like my ex.

M smiled, that reassuring smile a friend gives when you need it most.
“I’m so happy you ended that relationship,” he said. “You’re not made to receive crumbs.”

I shared how difficult it is to have a brain wired for constant vigilance, always expecting the worst, always on edge. He smiled again, softer this time, and I found myself smiling back.

In that moment, I felt a flicker of hope, knowing I could change my thoughts, rewire my brain, and create a healthy, beautiful relationship.

Control.
All I need is control.