Spill the tea my darling

30 jul 2023

26 jul 2023

Wishing to say it

I think I forgot to say a couple of things, or maybe much more than just a couple.

I always wanted us to work, always wished it was you and me, that we belonged to each other.

I gave my all to make it happen, but my efforts weren't enough.

I always chose you, above family and friends. But I don't think you ever went through that.

Until I finally chose myself, and realized I couldn't keep collecting scraps of love. I couldn't keep waiting for you, couldn't change your priorities, and couldn't keep longing for things that would never happen.

Pride was always greater than us.

I will always carry an eternal sorrow, because we never worked out.

26 jun 2023

Me dan las 3 de la mañana imaginando mil escenarios en donde te soy sincera, en donde al fin puedo dejar de callar, en donde mis ojos miran los tuyos y no temen de nada.

Pero eso es solo mi imaginación, de eso vivo, eso respiro.

Una vez más, tendré que conformarme con la realidad...

4 jun 2023

The sun is not shining today

Al fin y al cabo tampoco era tan mala persona, solo alguien un poco herida.

15 feb 2023

This isn't fair

How many tears have I shed for you?

I can't even try to count them.

In the end, my heart already knew that you were only hurting me.

Did I still believe that you could be mine?

When your eyes were closed to the absolute truth,

To the only truth that was important:

that I used to love you,

and I thought that I could give my life for yours.

Forgive me for what I've done.

I tried so hard to fight these feelings,

but you were the one who always played with them.

I blame you for your selfishness.

I wanted to have you forever

because I believed that you were the one,

but I was mistaken again.

Even when I fought so hard,

You didn't even blink.

And it isn't fair.

12 feb 2023

Frío de verano

Un vacío me habla de ti,

como si tu recuerdo titilante no te trajera a colación cada media hora.

Una canción me habla de ti,

como si cada palabra retratara todo lo que alguna vez significaste.

Una taza de café me habla de ti,

como si el olor que proviene de ella se envolviera en mi nariz y te proyectara en el vapor.

Unos pasos me hablan de ti,

como si fueran los tuyos caminando a mi alrededor recogiendo los pedazos de lo que algún día quisimos ser.

Mi reflejo me habla de ti,

como coloreando las imágenes que tengo de nosotros fumando en la playa.

El frío me habla de ti,

en un verano donde el calor se ha vuelto implacable,

pero en donde mi piel se eriza con la falta de el.

Como si pudiera correr a tus brazos a resguardarme
y decirte que te quedes,
que no te vayas,

que esta vez todo saldrá bien,

que no tienes que partir.

Pero los dos sabemos que no es así,

que ya no estás.

que te fuiste lejos.

Aunque la palabra esperanza se ha vuelto sinónimo de ti.

Y aún creo que puedes llamar mi nombre.

Besitos al cielo.

11 feb 2023

Sanctuaries of Mud

I watched as the sun faded,
as the stars stopped shining,
and as the moon no longer showed me its face.

I watched as everything burned,
as oxygen no longer entered my lungs,
and my heartbeats barely showed signs of life.

But I traded all the planets just to see the light once more,
I traded all my tears for smiles made of paper,
I traded all my fear and anguish,
for a new dawn.

And I wasn’t alone,
holding my hand was me.
And I wasn’t afraid,
at my back, again, it was me.
And I was able to sing again,
with a guitar that no one played,
but it was meant just for me