This isn't fair

How many tears have I shed for you?

I can't even try to count them.

In the end, my heart already knew that you were only hurting me.

Did I still believe that you could be mine?

When your eyes were closed to the absolute truth,

To the only truth that was important:

that I used to love you,

and I thought that I could give my life for yours.

Forgive me for what I've done.

I tried so hard to fight these feelings,

but you were the one who always played with them.

I blame you for your selfishness.

I wanted to have you forever

because I believed that you were the one,

but I was mistaken again.

Even when I fought so hard,

You didn't even blink.

And it isn't fair.

Frío de verano

Un vacío me habla de ti,

como si tu recuerdo titilante no te trajera a colación cada media hora.

Una canción me habla de ti,

como si cada palabra retratara todo lo que alguna vez significaste.

Una taza de café me habla de ti,

como si el olor que proviene de ella se envolviera en mi nariz y te proyectara en el vapor.

Unos pasos me hablan de ti,

como si fueran los tuyos caminando a mi alrededor recogiendo los pedazos de lo que algún día quisimos ser.

Mi reflejo me habla de ti,

como coloreando las imágenes que tengo de nosotros fumando en la playa.

El frío me habla de ti,

en un verano donde el calor se ha vuelto implacable, 

pero en donde mi piel se eriza con la falta de el. 

Como si pudiera correr a tus brazos a resguardarme
y decirte que te quedes,
que no te vayas, 

que esta vez todo saldrá bien,

que no tienes que partir.

Pero los dos sabemos que no es así,

que ya no estás.

que te fuiste lejos.

Aunque la palabra esperanza se ha vuelto sinónimo de ti.

Y aún creo que puedes llamar mi nombre.

Besitos al cielo.

Sanctuaries of Mud

I watched as the sun faded,
as the stars stopped shining,
and as the moon no longer showed me its face.

I watched as everything burned,
as oxygen no longer entered my lungs,
and my heartbeats barely showed signs of life.

But I traded all the planets just to see the light once more,
I traded all my tears for smiles made of paper,
I traded all my fear and anguish,
for a new dawn.

And I wasn’t alone,
holding my hand was me.
And I wasn’t afraid,
at my back, again, it was me.
And I was able to sing again,
with a guitar that no one played,
but it was meant just for me

 I had no idea how much I love him until I lost him...

Ashes

Han sido semanas de retarme incesantemente,

repitiéndome "no lo pienses", "basta", "olvídalo", "no sigas".

Y frente al espejo dormitando muestro una de mis peores caras,

el querer poseer y no soltar, 

el querer dominar y destruir,
el querer convertir todo en cenizas

para después reír.

¿Cómo puedes volar si no tienes alas? 

Quiero ver como te quemas al llegar al lado del sol.

Ni siquiera puedo recordar tu rostro,

pero algún día seré tal como tu,

jugando cerca de las nubes

sin quemarme.

Y descubrí que solo eras especial en mi cabeza,
pues el golpe con la realidad es duro,
eres uno más,
como todos,
nada especial.

Say the word and I'll be yours...

A tale that isn't right

I walk along paths filled with thorns,
a place I hadn’t visited in a long time.
I didn’t want to find it,
but sometimes I end up here without even seeking it.

It feels like a sin to write,
because it’s forbidden and unreachable,
yet sometimes I get caught up in fantasies, imagining all the possibilities—
ones I should forget.

I know it’s all in my head,
and the nervousness I feel when near.
To think it seemed so trivial at first,
and how every moment, every situation brought me a little closer.

It all started with shared cigarettes,
with stolen smiles,
with awkward silences,
and now my thoughts won’t stop spinning,
all the time,
with every breath.

I feel bound,
even when I want to forget.
The more I try to avoid and ignore,
it just shows up, standing in front of me.
My chest tightens,
eyes that meet, and I can’t stop looking.

I need to forget soon or start accepting that I have a little more time to endure this torture.

Me molesta,

me molesta demasiado no saber.

¿Cuál es el afán?

Sigues apareciendo en mis pensamientos,

me tortura la incertidumbre,

si querías mi atención, la tienes.