Ashes

I miss you so much
that for a moment
it feels like I’ll lose all my self control
and run to find you.

I miss you so much
that my voice seems to know only one word
your name.

I miss you so much
that dreaming of you
is the only thing that makes me happy.

I miss you so much
that my insides burn
at the thought
that I can’t have you.

I miss you so much
that my hands ache,
because all they want
is to write to you.

I miss you so much
that my tears
taste like you.

But it’s only me,
missing
the version of you I fell in love with
the version that no longer exists.